Hi! Hello! How are you doing?

If we haven’t met, let me introduce myself. I’m Megan - Owner/Founder/CEO of AK Lean Virtual Assistance. Some tidbits about me personally:

I’m a mom of two and a happy wife to a very supportive husband.
I’m also a dog mom of a fluffy rescue lab and a stubborn English bulldog.
I’m obsessed with true crime/horror/sci-fi.
I love reading and crocheting when I have “free time”.
I connect VERY deeply to art and music - I can’t imagine life without either.
I struggle with mental illness - I’m bipolar 2.

An important thing to know about me is that the last two bullets are VERY connected.

Another important thing to know about me - is that I’m from the generation where we assigned “theme songs” to our lives! (Cue being an older millennial!)

What are life theme songs?

To help give context to those who aren’t music-obsessed, or don’t relate to their life through music, I’ll share the weirdness.

A life theme song is a song that you relate to on a fundamental level. It speaks to you in a way you can’t describe. It gives outsiders a hint as to what is happening inside of you. It’s a song that you will NEVER hit skip on your playlist, because if you do it feels like you are denying who you are to yourself. (A bit dramatic I know… but totally true!)

It not only defines who you are now (based on your experiences), but it drives who you are on your way to becoming.

In not so many words, a life theme song is the “mood” of your life.

My past theme songs

Growing up, I’ve had four theme songs (listed in the order of when they first made their appearance in my life). For reference, I am two weeks shy of turning 35.

Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden (3rd grade to age 34)
Iris by Goo Goo Dolls (6th grade to age 34)
Best of You by the Foo Fighters (9th grade to age 34)… in the age of MySpace this was the video that played when you went to my page.
Bitch by Meredith Brooks (age 20 - age 34)

Each of these songs has a particular line that resonated with me during that period in my life. The lyrics are:

Black Hole Sun - “Hang my head, drown my fear, till you all just disappear”

Iris - “And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming, or the moment of truth in your lies. When everything feels like the movies, yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive. And I don’t want the world to see me, ‘cause I don’t think that they’d understand. When everything’s meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.”

Best of You - “Has someone taken your faith? It’s real, the pain you feel. The life, the love you’d die to heal. The hope that starts the broken hearts. Your trust, you must confess. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? I’ve got another confession, my friend, I’m no fool. I’m getting tired of starting again, somewhere new.”

Bitch - “Yesterday I cried. You must have been relieved to see the softer side. I can understand how you’d be so confused, I don’t envy you. I’m a little bit of everything all rolled into one.”

Do you see a theme yet?

I was a very broken child. I was a very broken teenager. I was a very broken young adult. I was hurting in ways that I couldn’t explain to people - but if you looked at my theme songs, it was all right there. Even when I was smiling, you could see it in my eyes.

Me dressed up for Dustin's graduation 2.JPG

Smacked in the face by a new theme song

The theme songs are all reflective of the brokenness I’ve lived with my whole life.

Until now.

Last week, I was watching a movie with my kids and a song smacked me, no round-house kicked me, in the face out of nowhere. The song hit me in a way that I’ve never been hit before.

A week later, it’s still hitting me that way.. which is how I know it’s my new theme song.

It’s the theme song to flood away the previous theme songs.

It changed my perspective.

It made me realize…

I am no longer broken.

And the song that did it - It Could Have Been Me. In Sing 2 (the movie) it’s sung by Hasley. The original song was sung by The Struts. Both versions are me.

And the lyrics that resonate with me this time? Well - they’re not about being broken.

“Don’t wanna live as an untold story,

Rather go out in a blaze of glory.

I can’t hear you, I don’t fear you.

I’ll live now ‘cause the bad die last.

Dodging bullets with your broken past.

I can’t hear you, I don’t fear you now.

Wrapped in your regret.

What a waste of blood and sweat.

I wanna taste love and pain.

I wanna feel pride and shame.

I don’t wanna take my time.

Don’t wanna waste one line.

I wanna live better days.

Never look back and say,

Could have been me.

It could have been me.”

As I turn 35, I’m marching to a different theme song. The four that have gotten me through life so far are retired - they have done their job, but they can’t help me anymore.